"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
