You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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