The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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