so that wasnt chicken after all
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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