I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize