no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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