North Korea, Best Korea!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
