I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
