We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
