The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
