you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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