i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
