so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
