That's intense
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
