It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
