Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
