I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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