Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
