Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize