conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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