he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
