Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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