Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
