one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize