I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
