with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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