whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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