What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
