I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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