I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
