I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
