Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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