Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
