What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
