yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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