kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
