Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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