dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize