You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize