no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
