got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
