Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
