just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
