that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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