Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize