Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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