Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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