the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
