Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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