I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
