After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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