kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
