Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
