i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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