Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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