I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
