there was a trapeze. enough said
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
