oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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