Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
