You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I look better un-naked...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
