Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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