It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
