He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
