hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize