i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
