32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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