I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I had to cum in my sink.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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