it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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