did you get engaged???
I cannot find my penis.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
