so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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