Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
