Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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