What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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