a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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