Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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