White coat. Heels.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
