3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
